Leap Day Jokes--Funny Story

Leap Day Jokes

I wasn't going to celebrate Leap Day, but I decided to jump on the band wagon.

My coworker was fired on Leap Day, apparently he picked the wrong time to jump off the deep end. Bachelors Day, the only day a man doesn't want to see a woman on her knees in front of him.

Every day is Leap day for Odell Beckham Jr.

I'm going to get married on February 29th, so I only have to remember our anniversary once every 4 years. The general rule is that there is a leap year every four years.

Except if the year is divisible by 100 (2100, 2200) and not exactly divisible by 400 (2000).

On February 29th, 1940, Hattie McDaniel became the first African American to win an Academy Award for her role as Mammy in "Gone With The Wind".

A person who is born on February 29 is called a "leapling" or a "leap-year baby".

Rapper Ja Rule (1976), actor Antonio Sabato, Jr. (1972), and hockey goalie Cam Ward (1984) were all born on a Leap Day.

Singer Davy Jones (2012, "The Monkees") and legendary college football player Tom Davies (1972) died on a Leap Day. Julius Caesar and his astronomer, Sosigenes, calculated the need for a Leap Year in 45 B.C.

 Rare Disease Day, a day to raise awareness for rare diseases, was started on February 29, 2008.

There is a popular tradition called Bachelor's Day in certain countries that allows women to propose marriage on February 29th.

 If the man refuses, he is obligated to give the woman money or buy her a dress.

No Artichokes--Food Jokes| Funny Story

No Artichokes 

A stockboy is stacking fruit on a display, when a lady asks 

"Do you have any artichokes? " 

The stockboy replies 

"Sorry ma'am, we are out of artichokes, but we will be getting a shipment tomorrow morning" 

The lady looks around some more. 

A few mins later she runs back to him asking where the artichokes are. 

The stockboy confused about her mental state simply tells her 

"Sorry ma'am, we are out of artichokes, but we will be getting a shipment tomorrow morning" 

The lady looks around some more then goes back to the same stockboy and asks 

"Where the hell do you keep the artichokes, I need some artichokes right now!" 

The stockboy, getting frustated with his inability to explain the situation, tells the lady 

"Answers a couple of questions and I will get you your artichokes from the back." 

The lady agrees and the man starts the questions. "Spell cat for me, as in catastrophe " she says Ok, 

"C A T". 

"Very good!" the stockboy says, 

"now spell dog, as in dogmatic. " 

The lady getting frustrated spells it correct. Now the employee finally asks 

"now spell, Fuck, as in artichokes. " She replies "There is no Fuck in artichokes?" 

To which the stockboy replies 

"THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU THE WHOLE TIME!" 

Great Big Hug--Funny Story

Great Big Hug

At school, Little Johnny's classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it's very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth." Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out.

Johnny's mother greets him at home, and he tells her, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father." Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother." 

Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth." The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!"

Stanley Cup--Funny Story

Stanley Cup

Let's read Auburn Football Jokes about Short Funny Jokes, Football fun

It's Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right at center ice.  

He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty.  He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there.  

"No" says the neighbor.  

"The seat is empty."  

"This is incredible," said the man.  

"Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Stanley Cup and not use it?"  The neighbor says, 

"Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away.  This is the first Stanley Cup we haven't been to together since we got married."  

"Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that.  That's terrible...  But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?"  The man shakes his head.  

"No,” he says.  

“They're all at the funeral."