DRIVING TO CHICAGO Joke Funny

DRIVING TO CHICAGO Joke

In a mental institution a nurse walks into a room and sees a patient acting like he's driving a car.

The nurse asks him, "Charlie what are you doing?" 

Charlie replied, "Driving to Chicago!" 

The nurse wishes him a good trip and leaves the room. 

The next day the nurse enters Charlie's room just as he stops driving his imaginary car and asks, "Well Charlie, how you doing?" 

Charlie says, "I just got into Chicago." "Great," replied the nurse. 

The nurse leaves Charlie's room and goes across the hall into Bob's room and finds Bob sitting on his bed masturbating vigorously. 

With surprise she asks, "Bob what are you doing!?" Bob says, "I'm screwing Charlie's wife while he's in Chicago!" 

See more: Good jokes to tell

About A Boy Joke Funny

About A Boy Joke Funny

A little boy walks into a whore house with a $100 bill and a dead frog. 

He goes to the pimp and asks for the ho with the most venerial diseases. 

The pimp is surprised but gives the boy his ho. 

After the boy does his deed, the pimp asks why he wanted the ho with all the venerial diseases. 

The boy answers: When I go home, I will get a babysitter while my parents go out to eat and I'll fuck her. 

When my parents get home, my dad will drive the sitter home and screw her in the car. 

Tonight, my parents will fuck. Tomorrow, after my dad leaves for work, my mom will do the mailman, AND THAT THE SON Of A BITCH WHO RAN OVER MY FROG !!!!! 

See more: Funny short jokes

Clean Jokes To Tell Your Kids

Clean Jokes To Tell Your Kids

Funny jokes for kids

What did Bacon say to Tomato?

Lettuce get together!

Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!

What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops?

Guardians of the Galaxy.

How do you make a tissue dance?

Put a little boogey in it!

“How do you shoot a killer bee?”

“With a bee bee gun.”

Who earns a living driving their customers away?

A taxi driver.

Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.

Why couldn’t the pony sing himself a lullaby?

He was a little hoarse.

What do you get when you cross fish and an elephant?

Swimming trunks.

Where do bees go to the bathroom?

At the BP station!

What do you call a fake noodle?

An Impasta.

Why did the can-crusher quit his job?

Because it was soda pressing.

What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly?

It barked with de-light!

Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.

What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck?

Milk and quackers!

Why do bicycles fall over?

Because they’re two-tired!

How do you make holy water?

Boil the hell out of it!

Deal with the Devil Joke Funny

Deal with the Devil Joke Funny

Funny adult jokes

Three guys die in car accident and wind up in hell. 

They realize where they are at and find the Devil. They plead with him, "please let us go to heaven!" The devil comes up with an idea. 

He points at a huge escalater with some of the most beautiful, hottest women you have ever seen! 

He says you see that escalater? 

If you can make it up to heaven without engaging in ANY sexual activitie with any of these women then you are free to go. 

But if you do the nasty with any of them, then I am going to do to you something that your job on earth is related to. 

The first guy goes and fucks the first chick so the devil asks what his job was. " A mechanic" he replies. 

So the devil rips his dick off with pliers. 

The second guy goes and fucks the chick in the very middle. " A carpenter" he replies. So the devil saws his dick off. 

The final guy goes and makes it to the very top when he screws the last chick. 

The devil asks "Well you know the drill, what was you job?" and the guy just starts laughing his ass off! 

Furious, the devil asks him why he is laughing and the guy replies " I'm a fucking blow pop tester!"